Tuesday, September 16, 2008

How did we get here?

I figured it might be nice to let everyone know how we got to this point so here is the history.

Nate and I met in 1994 and met through a friend of his and I did date this friend. In 1995 we ended up talking more and more so we tried to date!! Yes, I did end it with the friend. LOL~~ We really clicked but, I was a tease back then! A friend of mine and I thought it would be fun to see how well he would stick with me. I dated some real loosers to say the least! Awww those wonderful high school years hey. LOL~~So my friend and I decided to only let him kiss me and that means only pecks. Those sloppy kisses are so not me! He took it fairly well but, wanted to be more touchy at times. MEN LOL ~~ As time went he just thought it was funny. I also wouldn't consider us as a full couple yet. I told him that if we were a match when I graduated in 1996 then we would consider us a couple. How mean hey! Well as time went we were really clicking! When I graduated he bought me a dozen red roses!! We considered us as a couple and have not been apart ever since!

Nate bought this cabin and moved it onto the property that his parents live at. They built a basement and set the cabin part on top. That became our first house!! I moved out of my parents house that summer I graduated. They were not happy at first but, I was an adult. Nate's dad and him were still working on the house even as they gutted out the cabin. Boy does it have lovely wood ceilings!! I really loved that house. We still have it but, its got renters in it right now. A really nice couple. Well as time went on I found out he was a great match for me and stuck by me through some really hard times. Some know I have chronic illnesses. Well in 1997 I got hit hard, I couldn't open a can of soda at times nor get myself out of bed without help. Finally got dx'd in 1998 with Fibromyalgia and won my SSI case in 1998 or 99. It was not easy on Nate at all. He saw me go through all that plus 2 ankle surgeries and not be able to work plus gain a lot of weight! He is very good to me. He protects me alot and sometimes is overly protective. He makes sure nobody hurts me.

2000 we moved to Arizona due to my health getting worse living in WI. Doctors suggested to go somewhere that its dry so he left his job a couple months later and moved us to Arizona!! We love it there! Well at least Congress area. We moved to Glendale at first in an apartment which was NOT fun at all. We were so not city people. We lived there for 9 months and then moved to the Congress area which is small town and sooo beautiful! We ended up living there and getting a house. In 2002 we were joined as one and I put my full ring together. We had a small gathering that my parents came out for and a very close cousin of mine with her other half who is now her husband. It was WONDERFUL!!! Nate and I had already started to try to get pregnant but, it hadn't happened yet. As time went we found out that I have an illness called Polycystic Overian Syndrome which means very difficult to get pregnant without help if at all. So we decided that we would fostor or adopt. Both completely fine with it as all that mattered was that we had kids in our life. A friend of ours who is older (50's) and is a grandma had one of her grandchildren dropped off at her house as the mother (if you can call her that) didn't want to take responcibility for her. Well Brenna was acting out like kids will that have been abused and with both Nate and I having a background in child behavior and development stepped in to help. Well it ended up going very well and we became parent figures and doing a private foster. We were a family and taught her what a family means. She loved us and it was great until 1 1/2 yrs later the mother gets clean and she is ripped away from us just when we were talking about getting custody of her. It tore our hearts out. Brenna's cousin Lisa was also in our lives as a foster also. She was older but, really needed the help. Things went wrong there also and we had to back out of the situation. Brenna we have only seen a couple times after all this happened and we still miss her dearly. Lisa on the other hand came back to us when she was pregnant with her first child and then left us again. That was hard but, it had to be done. 2 yrs. later she contacted us again and she is now of age to do what she wanted (18) and so we got to see our grandson Derrick who is a total gem!! We had her and Derrick living with us along with Lisa's boyfriend. Yep full house. We knew the boyfriend however and thought he was a good person but, we were so very wrong. Lisa approched Nate saying that she knows how baddly we want kids and I can't have kids so she wanted to give us this gift for all that we did for her on helping her. Nate told me and I hesitated at first as Lisa has a history of lying and decieving. FInally after many, many talks with her and Kris we agreed. They lived with us so I thought things were going to go ok. Now this is last year only so it is still hurtful to even write this. Nate and I had already planned to go back to WI for a couple months to see family. We were letting them live at the house if they took care of our cat, 1 dog and 2 horses which Kris knew how to feed them. Well we left and then found out Lisa was pregnant but, not through her. The grandma, and friend of ours told me and she had NO clue that Lisa and Kris told us they would have a baby for us. Well after finally talking to Lisa we found out she was backing out. It KILLED me and nate. That was super hurtful and words were said. She even said to me that she would have the next baby for us! Well that was NOT going to happen as she lost complete trust. She had the nerve to say that we have waited this long for a child whats another year or two?? EXCUSE ME!!! Well that totally sent me over the edge. Needless to say she is out of our lives and they were kicked out of the house. They cleaned out all of our food of $1500 also and that totally ticked us off. Plus they killed my cat, lucky they left Star, our dog outside most of the time otherwise she would be dead also. Our neighbor fed her over the fence. Plus they almost killed our 2 horses!! Thanks to us giving neighbors our contact info we got a call saying our horses are not doing well and are very skinny. So that means they were not feeding them or giving them fresh water! I called our friends whom we adopted Abby and Dream from and had them rush out there and get them. Thank god they were ok and were able to gain the weight back. Lisa still every now and then tries to get ahold of us but, we refuse to talk to her. She did things I NEVER thought a person would do by using our want for a baby so baddly and use us to get things she wanted and then take almost everything away from us just because we left her to go on a trip. So we really got our hearts torn there. Its hard to trust now.

Around Nov., Dec. area there was a post by Jen in one of the yahoo looming groups and for some reason they were talking about her being a surrogate and I saw the title under her name so I private messaged her for more information. How strange things happen hey! We started talking back and forth on e-mails and it got my husband and I thinking on going the surrogate route but, we were not sure. In feb I contacted her again but, by that time she had signed up with another couple and we had to wait. That sucked but, we really didn't have the expence yet and knew we would in Sept.08. SO I told her that and we kept in touch and really got to know eachother. Bonus is we both LOVE fiber!! LOL~~ Well in July she told me the contract would be up with the other couple and got even more info. August we started talking on the phone and we just really clicked!! So Sept. we got our funds and we called her and signed papers on the day she was becoming most fertile so she came to stay with us!!! Her husband and little girl are wonderful also. Jen seemed to like it out here and We got to show her around. Plus we hit some fiber shops!! It was fun even tho it was a little strange at the same time. Since it was out first in person meet up and insem it was normal for us all to be a little scared. By the time sat night came and she was going home we didn't want her to leave!!! This is going to turn out to be a very special friendship. Its like it is meant to be. That finally we have suffered enough and its time for us to have the family we have always wanted. I'm so happy that you all will join us on this process. It will be a very exciting ride!

Hope you all understand now how we came to this point and how hard it has been to get to this point and where we have been.

Hugs,
lisa

1 comment:

PaintedPromise said...

i know that whole thing last summer was awful for you but we were glad to help with the girls and all is well that ends well right? sounds like even though it was hard to go through, it is a good thing to end a potentially destructive relationship... safer in the long run!!

give the girls kisses for me :)